Need a laugh? These 50 funny poems cover the small disasters of everyday life: alarm clocks, group chats, cats, leftovers and family road trips. Most are short enough to read in under a minute and share with a friend. The first 39 are original, and the last 11 are classic funny poems from Edward Lear, Lewis Carroll and others. For more collections, browse all our poems.
Funny poems about everyday life
All poems in this section are original poems by Poetry Valley.
1. Five More Minutes
"Five more minutes," I told the clock
at seven, and seven-oh-five.
By eight I was sprinting in one sock,
amazed to be still alive.
2. The Password
My password must have a capital letter,
a number, a symbol, a rhyme,
the name of my very first goldfish,
and can't be the same as last time.
I've written it down on a sticky note
and stuck it right next to the screen,
which is, I am told, the safest place
a hacker has ever seen.
3. Self-Checkout
"Unexpected item in the bagging area,"
the self-checkout declares.
The only thing there is my dignity,
and apparently, it cares.
4. Group Photo
"On three," the photographer said,
and on two I blinked, of course.
On three my aunt was fixing her hair
and my uncle sneezed with force.
We took forty-one. The one we kept
is the blurry one by the door,
where everyone's laughing at something
that nobody remembers anymore.
5. Diet Starts Monday
My diet starts on Monday.
It's started every week.
It's never actually got going,
but the starts are quite unique.
6. One Percent
My phone's at one percent again.
The charger's in the car.
The car is at the mechanic's,
and I don't know where they are.
Funny poems about work and school
All poems in this section are original poems by Poetry Valley.
7. The Meeting
This meeting could have been an email,
the email could have been a text,
the text could have been a thumbs-up,
and here we are, booking the next.
8. The Dog and My Homework
The dog did not eat my homework.
I want to be clear about that.
He looked at it, sighed, and lay on it,
and now it is warm, and flat.
9. Reply All
I hit "Reply All" by accident
to tell my friend, in brief,
what I thought about the boss's tie.
The boss replied: "Good grief."
10. Out of Office
I've set my out-of-office on,
I've switched my laptop off,
I'm lying on a beach at last.
Oh no. Is that my boss?
11. Test Day
I studied chapter seven.
I studied chapter nine.
The test was all on chapter eight.
I'd skipped it. Saved some time.
12. You’re on Mute
"You're on mute," they said, so kindly,
after ten whole minutes had passed
of the best speech I have ever given,
heard only by my kitchen, at last.
Funny poems about food
All poems in this section are original poems by Poetry Valley.
13. Leftovers
I opened the fridge for a midnight snack
and found, at the back, in a tub,
a thing that was once, I believe, lasagna
and now is a small science club.
14. Ode to Pizza
Some people say love is a rose.
Some say it's a song or a kiss.
But nobody handed a rose at midnight
has ever felt quite like this.
15. Broccoli
My mother says broccoli's good for me.
It's green, and it's crunchy, it's true.
But so is a pickle, a lettuce, a frog,
and I won't eat those either. Would you?
16. The Last Cookie
There's one cookie left in the jar.
We all know it. Nobody's said.
My sister has counted. My dad has counted.
I've counted it twice in my head.
Whoever takes it will live with the shame
for the rest of the family year,
so it sits there, uneaten, slowly going stale,
our small, delicious frontier.
17. Coffee
Before my coffee, I'm a cloud.
I drift. I do not speak aloud.
After my coffee, I'm a storm
of plans and emails, fully formed.
By two o'clock, I'm cloud again.
I'll need a second cup by then.
18. Twenty Minutes
The recipe promised "twenty minutes."
It didn't mention the smoke,
the alarm, the towel-waving dance,
or the takeout menu. No joke.
Funny poems about pets and animals
All poems in this section are original poems by Poetry Valley.
19. The Cat’s Schedule
6 a.m.: scream for breakfast.
7 a.m.: sleep on the clean laundry.
Noon: push one thing off the table, slowly, while making eye contact.
3 p.m.: sleep.
9 p.m.: race through the house at full speed for no reason.
Midnight: sit on your face, as is tradition.
20. Selective Hearing
My dog can hear a cheese wrapper
from three rooms and a floor away,
but when I say, "It's bath time, Max,"
he's deaf for the rest of the day.
21. Goldfish
My goldfish has a three-second memory,
or so the experts claim.
Each lap of the bowl is a brand-new world.
I envy him, all the same.
22. The Parrot
Our parrot repeats what he hears in the house,
which is lovely, except when it's not,
like the day that the neighbor came over for tea
and he told her what Grandma had thought.
23. Cat Logic
If it fits, I sit.
If it's yours, it's mine.
If you're busy, I need you.
If you call me, I decline.
24. The Spider
There's a spider on the ceiling
right above my bed.
I'm keeping very still now
so he thinks that I am dead.
Funny poems about family
All poems in this section are original poems by Poetry Valley.
25. Dad’s Joke
My dad has told the same bad joke
at every Christmas meal.
We groan. He laughs. The turkey's cold.
That's how we know it's real.
26. Grandma Texts
Grandma has learned to send a text.
She sends them all in caps,
and signs each one "LOVE, GRANDMA," in case
I've forgotten who she is, perhaps.
27. Road Trip
"He's looking at me." "She touched my side."
"He's breathing too loud." "She's taking my space."
My father, who's driven for six hours straight,
has a look I will never forget on his face.
28. Eyes in the Back of Her Head
My mother has eyes in the back of her head,
or that is what she says.
I tested it once with a cookie behind her.
I'm grounded for several days.
29. How Was School?
I asked my teenage son, "How was school?"
He answered, "Fine." "And what did you do?"
He thought it over, carefully: "Stuff."
That's all I know of grade ten.
Funny limericks
All poems in this section are original poems by Poetry Valley.
30. The Baker of Duluth
A baker who lived in Duluth
once baked a whole cake out of truth.
It was honest and plain,
and it gave folks a pain,
so he went back to sugar, forsooth.
31. The Fussy Cat
A cat with expensive desires
ate only what royalty requires.
When served plain cat food,
he got terribly rude
and complained to the nearest esquires.
32. The Wizard
A wizard who couldn't spell well
attempted to cast a rain spell.
He wrote "train" by mistake,
and the ground gave a shake
as a train landed on the hotel.
33. The Late Guest
There was a young man who was late
to his own birthday party at eight.
He arrived at eleven
and said, "I've been in heaven:
the kitchen. I've eaten the cake."
34. The Dentist
A dentist who lived by the sea
pulled a tooth from a fish for a fee.
But the fish couldn't pay,
so it just swam away,
and the dentist is still out at sea.
35. The Poet
A poet who couldn't find rhymes
kept trying a thousand-odd times.
But his lines, I'm afraid,
never matched what he made,
and this limerick's one of his crimes.
Funny poems for kids
All poems in this section are original poems by Poetry Valley.
36. Missing Socks
In my sock drawer, socks go missing,
one by one, and never pair.
Somewhere there's a land of single socks,
and I think they're happy there.
37. The Monster Under My Bed
The monster under my bed is shy.
He's scared of the light and the cat.
Last night I heard him crying a bit,
so I lent him my teddy and hat.
38. The Haircut
I cut my brother's hair today
with only my safety scissors.
Mom says it will grow back by June.
My brother says I'm in for it.
39. Bedtime
I need a glass of water.
I need to use the loo.
I need to ask a question
about giraffes at the zoo.
I need a hug. I need my bear.
I need the hall light on.
And then I need to tell you
I'm not tired. And I'm gone.
Classic funny poems
These classics were all published long before 1930 and are in the public domain. The four shortest are printed in full; for the longer ones we give the opening line and what happens.
40. The Purple Cow by Gelett Burgess (1895)
I never saw a Purple Cow,
I never hope to see one;
But I can tell you, anyhow,
I'd rather see than be one!
41. There Was an Old Man with a Beard by Edward Lear (1846)
There was an Old Man with a beard,
Who said, "It is just as I feared!—
Two Owls and a Hen,
Four Larks and a Wren,
Have all built their nests in my beard!"
42. There Was a Young Lady Whose Chin by Edward Lear (1846)
There was a Young Lady whose chin,
Resembled the point of a pin;
So she had it made sharp,
And purchased a harp,
And played several tunes with her chin.
43. How Doth the Little Crocodile by Lewis Carroll (1865)
How doth the little crocodile
Improve his shining tail,
And pour the waters of the Nile
On every golden scale!
How cheerfully he seems to grin,
How neatly spreads his claws,
And welcomes little fishes in
With gently smiling jaws!
44. The Owl and the Pussy-cat by Edward Lear (1871)
Opens: “The Owl and the Pussy-cat went to sea” An owl and a cat sail off in a pea-green boat, buy a ring from a pig and get married on the beach.
45. Jabberwocky by Lewis Carroll (1871)
Opens: “‘Twas brillig, and the slithy toves” A heroic monster-slaying poem told almost entirely in made-up words that somehow still make sense.
46. You Are Old, Father William by Lewis Carroll (1865)
Opens: “”You are old, Father William,” the young man said,” A young man questions an old man who keeps doing headstands and backflips, until the old man loses patience.
47. Matilda Who Told Lies, and Was Burned to Death by Hilaire Belloc (1907)
Opens: “Matilda told such Dreadful Lies,” A mock-serious warning tale: a girl who cries “fire” as a joke is not believed when her house really burns.
48. Jim, Who Ran Away from His Nurse, and Was Eaten by a Lion by Hilaire Belloc (1907)
Opens: “There was a Boy whose name was Jim;” Another of Belloc’s fake moral lessons, ending with the cheerful advice to always keep a-hold of Nurse.
49. Casey at the Bat by Ernest Lawrence Thayer (1888)
Opens: “The outlook wasn’t brilliant for the Mudville nine that day;” A whole town is sure its baseball hero will win the game, and the ending is a famous comic letdown.
50. The Jumblies by Edward Lear (1871)
Opens: “They went to sea in a Sieve, they did,” A group of strange little people ignore every warning and sail away in a sieve, and it somehow works out.
How to write a funny poem
Start with something small and true that annoys everyone: a dying phone, a sock that vanished, a meeting that drags. Exaggerate it slightly, keep the poem short, and save the surprise for the last line. Rhyme helps, because a reader expects it and you can twist that expectation. For more on how rhyme and rhythm work, see our guide to sound devices in poetry, or find a topic in our list of poem ideas.
Frequently asked questions
What is the funniest poem ever written?
There is no single answer, but Gelett Burgess’s “The Purple Cow” and Edward Lear’s limericks are among the most quoted funny poems in English. Lewis Carroll’s “Jabberwocky” is another favorite.
What is a short funny poem?
A limerick is the classic short funny poem: five lines, an AABBA rhyme scheme and a punchline at the end. “There was an Old Man with a beard” by Edward Lear is a famous example.
Can I share these poems?
Yes. You are welcome to share the original poems with a link back to this page, and the classic poems are in the public domain.
